Have Your Doctor and Sponsor Call Instead

It’s been a while since I’ve expressed any feelings on here and it’s been a silent journey/battle I’ve been on. It’s the road of drugs, destruction and realization that’s had me tied up and thank God I’m still clean and sober 30+ years later. The drugs and destruction belong to some of those very close to me and also one “sent” to me for help. I wasn’t even aware of how severe it was till the dominos fell over.
Realization is: I’m No Match for Meth or Heroin addictions and I shouldn’t even waste my time trying to help fix that addiction. Thanks to Doctor Z for enlightening me during our rides every week. Thank you to those who had the courage to speak truth to me in recent weeks. Let the professionals take money from the addicts to try and fix them. I’ll keep my money and stuff thank you.
It must be the loneliest road in the world they are on and they make it even more lonely. People’s minds narrow and wallets close. They run out of resources. They end up homeless, destitute and sick. They end up in jail first, prison later and dead prematurely. They prey on every person that shows any kindness and those people abandon them too.
Deluge of Meth from Mexico Spreads Misery Across Texas
Our Hearts always find a way to forgive betrayal and hurt. Always! Our minds are a completely different matter. If you’ve had someone in your life affected by these drugs you need to look for help for yourself. Not them but You. Your heart will ache forever over it but you must move forward. You cannot become a prisoner of someone else’s drug. They hid it from you and used you. All trust is Gone.
Let their doctor or sponsor deal with it and have them call you if the addict wants to talk. You’ll be glad you got someone between you and them. They may love you and you may love them. There is unfortunately a bridge out between the parties involved and the drugs burned it down. It’s going to take money, trust and time to rebuild it. They Burned It, Not You.

For a Brief Moment, I Abandoned You

Jewish Mythology, The Bible, Unfaithful People, Our Parallel Lives and Story.

And so goes the reading from Isaiah 54:7 and beyond. It’s that same old story for us, our children and on and on and on. Even our Accidental Children, Those We Lead, Mentor, Teach.
Those people in that story, “Gods Chosen People,” were so out of bounds, so hateful towards their Maker for their predicament they caused, that they just could never be okay. Yet here is the picture and story that is very telling about a “love” that endures forever. They always become tired and go home to a loving parent, God in this story, who takes them back.
Imagine walking in your kitchen and your father knowing all your misdeeds, sits you down at the table. You feel the fear rising up in you for the blistering rage you’ll feel and hear. Go read that reading in the link I embedded then come back. Wow! Your Parent or Spouse in this story was so angry with you that they turned away from you. “For a Brief Moment.” A total loss of support and love. “Love”
As you sat there looking at each other you saw real power. Love and not just forgiveness for the rift. “A wiping of the slate.” All things are forgotten and healed in an instant and the true promise of a loving, fulfilled future is unfolding from someone who “can deliver.”
Who have you walked away from? Who have you observed, found out things about that you feared and then judged or turned away from? I’ve done it and that’s why I wrote this today.
Do I figuratively “pull the trigger” and alter my world and theirs or do I read my own life into the story and let Love conquer fear and hate?
We’re only here today folks because of the “talk at the kitchen table” over and over again. Guess I better dust off the table.
Peace and Enduring Love to You All.
Paul

The Prodigal

It’s Always “The Prodigal” (son or daughter) No Matter What Tradition, Language or Age.

One Goes, One Stays. One Risks, Lives A Less Desirable Life And Suffers Loss And Pain Far From Home.

One Stays And Benefits Continually, Receiving Admiration For Discipline And Sacrifice.

Who Carries The Traditions Forward?

Who Really Is The Chosen One?

Who Is Really Loved?

It’s A Question For All Ages And Peoples. All Stories.

I was semi retired till yesterday. Another Accidental Child?

You know, I really thought I was semi retired from Accidental Fatherhood until I put that extra money in the collection basket at church yesterday.
As I exited the sanctuary, a staff member caught up with me and asked me to help by taking a young man to lunch. She said he was trying to get past some issues and needed some help. If I could just do lunch while they worked out the details it would be great. I did and before I knew it, I was the one with the real calling in this area, etc.
Tonight, Jeff S. , 26 from Kansas City is sleeping on the sofa here and I’m neck deep in amateur rehab along with a side of Accidental Father.
We’ll see what happens tomorrow and here’s a tip to you all.
Be very careful when you say you’re “done,” announce your semi retirement and throw all the cash in your pocket in the basket at church. God has a real sense of humor. I’m living proof. More soon.

Peace and Love To You Always,
Paul

Hideous, Rotten, Old People

It’s always interesting to see what the younger generation subscribes to.

Take Gunnar for example and his latest sharing of a post on Facebook.

Cocky isn’t it?
Oh well, “They’re always there when they need you.” “I cant pay my phone. I can’t pay my rent, etc.”
I’m glad the generation that’s older than me is still relevant and respected at least in my world. They built a lot so that I could have a lot and it’s a kindness that will never be forgotten.
That said, maybe it’s time to invest our time and money in ourselves instead of looking outward all of the time.

(Should I really pay that cell phone bill tonight for an accidental child? YES, He’s Amazingly Kind And Respectful)

Peace and Love to You Always,
Paul

I Was The Coat In Your Closet

I was the “Coat In Your Closet.”
Pulled out when you needed protection to “brave” the elements that You couldn’t or wouldn’t.
You didn’t put me away properly when you were done.
You left me lying where you dropped me. You didn’t ever have me cleaned.
I was recently left somewhere strange after several people “used” me.

Mercifully, A Kind Soul found me, had me cleaned and hung me up properly in a “Sacred Space” just the other day.
Even though I’m well worn, I feel fresh and know that I’m finally sacred to someone who needed me and knew how to care for me.

Take proper care of the things in your closet kids. You may never be able to replace them if they are lost.

Peace to You Forever and Ever
Paul

They are scattered and I’m falling upward

So my Accidental Children are finally scattered in different places for different reasons. It seems perfectly natural to me. It’s giving me the time to catch my breath and begin “Falling Upward” as Richard Rohr says. Planning the next part of my life on this planet.
Before I forget, I need to say thank you to Gunnar and Tom Cloherty. You remembered me at precisely the right time when I most needed validation. “A kindness that will never be forgotten.” I love you both and really couldn’t imagine a world without you in it.

Thank you Zac. You started it and I finished it. It worked pretty darn well. Glad you’re still here buddy. (I don’t have to imagine a world without you. It’s a pure miracle!)

I really didn’t sign up for it all. It unfolded as we picked up passengers for this journey. Thanks to all the others too.

I suppose that it’s time to say goodbye to being the Accidental Father on a daily basis and now be my own “Sherpa” as I move forward in life. Don’t Forget Paul: Be careful of the rocks. Don’t let the bandits rob you on the road to peace. A deal is a deal verbally, and if your opposite number doesn’t live up to the deal, punish them with their own God. Always be impeccable with your word. Even a broken clock tells the right time twice a day. Be a Bank. Make money that’s yours, not theirs. Peace and Unconditional Love to You All Always.

So I’m off on a new adventure and I thank you all for giving me the opportunity to help in your lives.

Come Visit Sometime If I’m Home.

The road is calling. (Yes, it’s nighttime and I’m in bed with the flu. I needed to get this out while I was conscious)

Paul

They Just Keep Coming (And Going)

My Accidental Children that is.

And as they come I realize that it’s that constant mentoring they need even now in their 20’s and beyond. The difference for them is “Judgment” when they present an issue. I’m not going to “Judge” them as they fear a biological parent or even a step parent might. They have that built in fear of judgment, wrath, punishment from the parental figures (Sorry Zac, I try to avoid anger now and  forever with you buddy) in addition to the worry over the actions they have taken or might take. It really does as they say  “Take a Village” and probably a system that’s fair and balanced to raise them through this life and into old age.

It’s a bit more critical than when I grew up and the world was less complex. Maybe we as older, more experienced adults are truly called to “volunteer” much closer to home than we ever imagined and become lifelong mentors to our own children, grandchildren, etc.

There’s No Retirement in This Business.

Peace And Love To You Always,

Paul

 

It’s a Birthday! (s)

Well it’s a big month for Birthdays so here goes.

Happy Birthday Zac!  You’re no accidental child to me. I love you and treasure your presence in my life. (October 18th)

Happy Birthday Bill!  Despite miles between us you know I love you and wish you the gift of peace. (October 19th)

Happy Birthday Cathy!  You’re amazing and always do the right thing no matter what. This world needs more people like you and I’m so glad you were born to help show that. (October 25th)

Yes, mine is on the 27th.

Sobriety and the Boys

I mentioned on Facebook this morning that I really need to get more clean and sober friends. It’s become pretty clear to me that my own sobriety is suffering because of constant sparing with others addictions. Mainly “The Boys.”  I won’t judge them or say they’re using however the built in addict behavior is about to destroy us all.

I love all of you guys and you know I do. I’d spend my last dime to help you and my last act in this world to do the same.

I’d love to see you clean, sober and happy as well. It makes me smile when you’re like that and I know I had some hand in that through my own example of long term sobriety.

You Guys Want To Be The Clean And Sober Ones I’m Looking For?